First Day of Spring....

Groundhog Day on repeat. Groundhog Day on repeat.

I have a dilemma. Well rather, I have an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can’t get rid of. The motions of my days seem to puddle together and it feels as if I can no longer differentiate between which day is what. The what seem to be never-ending functions of my days are as follows:

1.       Wake up

2.       Get ready

3.       Eat breakfast

4.       Walk to class

5.       Take a break in between classes

6.       Sleep

7.       Go to another class

8.       Eat lunch

9.       Sleep

10.   Go to another class

11.   Relax

12.   Study

13.   Dinner

14.   Exercise

15.   Study

16.   Study

17.   Sleep

Looking at it now it’s rather depressing and while I do have great moments throughout my day it feels as if I’m living in my own personal version of Groundhog’s Day, you know with Bill Murray, where he wakes up every day, in the same day, to only figure out that no matter what he does differently it will never change; the next morning he will wake up to the same song playing on the radio.

I’m not necessarily saying I’m unhappy, I just feel like this can’t be it; I mean really??? A part of me, on a whim, just wants to pack everything I own, move to New York, attend Columbia University and really go after what I want the most. I feel like we’re all just here stalling doing mediocre things waiting on a mediocre life. I just can’t. I guess the one conclusion I can draw up is to make changes rather than sit around and wait for the sky to fall onto my head. I’m going to aim to be a little bit more optimistic about things surrounding me, people, places, etc. This could just be my just-turned-nineteen-quarter life-crisis.

Until next time blogspotters.

First Video Hello!

Sober boys around me be actin like they drunk...

So as I predicted craziness was definitely in my forecast for this semester. Barely two weeks in to my time back at the university things have definitely gotten out of hand.

                I’ve had the whole dorm to myself this weekend. Not only did Suzie-Stink-a-Lot move out sometime last week (praise the Lord!), my roomies unfortunately decided to go home again this weekend. As lonely as it can get, it has been kind of nice to let’s just say “get back in touch with myself” (that sounds kind of dirty know that I think about it).

As a part of my “alone-time regiment” I decided to cook myself a lovely dinner of penne pasta with vodka cream sauce and a delicious French bread. I later decided to get ahead with some work to hopefully ease the stress of my upcoming school week and afterwards chose to go to sleep a little early in order to start my Saturday off right. While I was in my delicious deep sleep I heard a loud knocking in my dream and before I knew it I was awake to an actual knocking, well rather banging, on my front door. I creeped my way to the peep hole and noticed some guy I’ve never seen before in the hall, punching the wall, and of course banging on my door.

First thought. What the h…well you know. I decided to try and ignore it and just go back to sleep, but before I could walk back to my room homeboy decides to try and open the door. So not only is he thrusting all of his body weight into my front door, he’s trying to open it as well. *panic mode* I run back to my room, close the door and deadbolt the thing. I scrambled all over my room for the dormitory office number and of course can’t find it; anywhere. Chaos fills my body and I start to shake and cry. I mean, what if this dude gets in??? I can’t take him on with the little bit of pepper spray that I have, I mean what damage could I possibly do???

                Finally, it stops. I decided to be bold and I went downstairs and before I could even make my way to the elevator I see the same guy passed out on the lobby floor. I should’ve kicked him in his face because I’m pretty sure he was so intoxicated he wouldn’t have even woken up, but that’s beside the point, I went to the office and filed the appropriate complaint. The on-call resident assistant luckily took care of it and even recruited two boys to carry the drunken punk back into a room.

                All in all homeboy probably wasn’t technically trying to “break-in” in a drunken frenzy he probably just got my room confused with a room he was staying in, but nevertheless it was one of the most terrifying things that’s happened to me here. Let’s just hope I can sleep in peace tonight.

Hello Spring Semester!

So I’m back. Well I never really went missing, so let’s just say I’m back in the swing of things and my daily routines with a few changes here and there.

Classes have officially started and ironically enough they started this past Wednesday on my nineteenth birthday. It was my first time away from home on my birthday and I can happily say I was pleasantly surprised with how wonderful it was! After going to my two classes for the day I met up with my roommates to eat lunch and they were waiting there with this…

They’re so cute.

Backtracking a little bit, I was actually surprised upon the day of my arrival at school. I walked in my room to find these things waiting on my bed. The shoes are scrumptious and he definitely did a good job, he knows I love cheetah print. The mystery man will more than likely forever remain a mystery, but I will say that him and I go way back, but in the end have decided to remain friends. It’s for the best, I’m almost 100% sure of that. That cute little, well not so little, teddy bear below is my friend J he was given to me sophomore year by the same mystery man and he figured I’d like to have it with me at school so he brought that too. It was a pleasant surprise.

I also got some gorgeous bouquets of flowers; that big one in the back is from a sweetie of mine. He’s a great guy. (You can refer to my other posting "A Piece of Mind" and find out how sweet he really is)The little one is from my sister who drove all the way from her house to take me out to dinner that night. LOVE HER.

All in all, I had one of the best birthday’s to date, no matter how simple it was.

My classes aren’t too bad really. I ended up dropping a class so I’m only taking a mere thirteen hours. Luckily I got a little ahead in high school, so hopefully it won’t push me back too far. Spanish 201 will be interesting to say the least. My teacher feels a personal connection with me I guess due to the fact we’re both Latina; so comfortable in fact, she pulled me out of class the first day and had a full blown ten minute conversation with me in Spanish. Ehh, I don’t think she realized that I am in 201 and not 401. Oh well….crazy Latin people. I’m in my right mind to say that my history teacher is on something else. I have five novels to read on top of everything else in there, I even have to read half a novel by this upcoming Thursday. We’ll see how that goes. I’ve bought most of my books, I in fact am only missing one. Yes ladies and gentlemen, below this line you will find over $350 worth of college literature. It’s depressing; all the luscious outfits that could have bought.

So for now, I’m happy with how everything has turned out. I even got my newspapers back! I’ve missed reading the news everyday from the best papers ever.

 Excuse the rough look...it's been a rough Friday of classes.

Keep your eye out for some more exciting things. Knowing how crazy everything got last semester this spring is bound to be an adventure.

XOXO

transformation.

I’m not one for New Year’s resolutions. In my opinion, they’re rather silly. If you want to make a change in yourself, then it’s best to do it whatever day at whatever time. A new year means nothing.

Lately, as I look at myself in the mirror and contemplate who I am, I’ve come to the conclusion that there are things I need to change about myself in order to become a better person. It may seem that I’m out for pity, or for needed compliments to help me feel better about who I currently am, but I can confidently say I don’t care what anybody thinks about my newfound wanted change.

I just know one thing. I’m not as happy as I should be. I need a happier attitude. I want to feel more confident about the people I surround myself with. I need to be more independent and stop depending on certain people in my life.

I’m trying to find the balance of strength and benevolence. I don’t want to be known as the girl who is alone because she’s too hard on herself and others; in turn, I don’t want to be the girl known for continuously getting her feelings hurt because she let’s any and everyone in. I need to be more understanding of people’s situations and realize that not everyone is as blessed as me. I have to understand that not everyone has good in them, and that the devil inside people is what can’t be trusted.

I refuse to be defeated by this little thing we call life. I want to conquer it, work in harmony with it. The simple fact is we’re not given all the time in the world, so why not work with what we have and make the best of it?

Peace. Love. Happy 2011.