It's a Wonderful Life

You always hear people preaching during the holidays.

                “It’s a time for giving, not receiving.”

That’s all fine and dandy and I couldn’t agree more, but in reality who all really goes with that saying. I know so many people who would be livid if they didn’t receive one Christmas gift during the holidays, yet they’re the first ones in line to say it’s not a big deal. Well, this year, my family and I decided to do something a little different.

NO GIFTS. It seems a little silly I guess, why not do Christmas gifts? Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t as if my family and I had an epiphany, took our merry selves down to the soup kitchen, gave away all of our miscellaneous belongings and decided to become non-sinning Christians; we did it because of numerous reasons.

1.       We didn’t really NEED anything. (I asked for tires earlier in the holidays and received them; all $656 of them) *enough to keep me quiet

2.       We really want to go on a huge vacation to the beach or overseas, so why not save now.

3.       We decided to finally try a Christmas season without giving gifts.

I’m happy to say I was pleasantly surprised. When I woke up that morning, I wasn’t depressed to not see presents under the tree. The house still smelled of homemade cinnamon rolls and even better, we had a white Christmas. The snow came as a surprise and it was wonderful! We literally spent hours outside playing in the snow. We hadn’t done that for years, at least since we had lived in Germany. And when I really thought about it, we had never really spent time like that with each other before during Christmas. I mean yeah, we sat around the living room opening presents, but spending time like that and comparing it to this past Christmas was different.  I don’t want to sit here and preach and suggest that all people never do presents again because let’s face it, presents are still one of the best things about the holidays, but it really got me to appreciate everything a lot more than usual. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Years!

Just a few random photos of me and the family Christmas morning. I think the last one is my favorite, Dad definitely won that snowball fight. :)

A piece of mind...

It’s rare really. I never find the need to truly express myself especially when it comes to loving somebody. I think of myself as an affectionate person but things can be perceived differently from the inside looking out, but tonight, I find it necessary to get a few things off of my chest.

Recently, I have found myself fighting a battle between my mind and heart. It sounds corny I’m sure, but truth is, I feel as if my insides are going through a hellish war and there’s nothing I can do until one side throws up the white flag.

Being in love is a huge step and I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I am, I’ve always felt that if you’re really in love then there’s really no question on whether you are or aren’t, but I do find myself having deep feelings for someone close to me.

Things have been complicated between us two, to say the least, and it’s really nothing new, but this time things are different. As I find myself getting older I feel as if I am a little more conscious about the decisions I should make, and for once, I am completely stuck. Questioning myself on whether or not I should stick around and wait it out constantly bombard my thoughts, and while a big part of me wants to let him go due to fear of getting hurt, I just can’t. There’s something in him that keeps me latched on and for the past few years I can’t figure out what it is. We’ve always had that lovey-dovey relationship, and while I quite enjoy it certain circumstances have kept us from really reaching our full potential.

There’s just something about him that makes me comfortable; to the point where I feel like I could spend all day with him and never get tired of it, it’s a weird feeling. He’s kind and thoughtful and definitely one of the sweetest people I have ever known. I guess my fear comes in from all the past “relationships” I’ve had with other beaus; unfortunately, the dismal reality of things is, everyone gets hurt eventually. But the question comes in and is quite simple, who wants to live their life in fear?? I certainly don’t, and that’s why I feel as if the decisions we’ve made about each other can at least, for now, give me a piece of mind. Sometimes waiting and time are all anybody ever really needs, so I should just be grateful for the time I’m given with him and accept the fact things can’t always go my way.

In the end, I just hope that after all this time, and after I have given him a piece of me, he doesn’t feel obligated to stick around because the fact that we had our little moment is enough to give me a piece of mind.

click clacking of keys and the swish of giftcards

It’s been a minute. Well actually, it’s been forever. I have completely neglected my need to vent to the world through blogspot.com and I have decided to use the excuse that I’ve been let’s just say “busy”.

I came home on the tenth of this month and three days later started work at the mall management office selling gift-cards. Yes, the job is as exciting as it sounds. When people ask I just tell them I work in a fancy office to make it sound a little more official and important. Nevertheless, I sit in the office chair for literally eight hours a day and I have been doing so for the past ten days. And while many people can argue that I do nothing all day but sit on my bum, it does get a little tiring to be cooped up in an office, exchanging gift-cards and money between dirty stranger hands, thinking about all the other things I could be doing with my time. This is pretty much what I stare at for the entire time I'm at work, but hey who can complain?

I even got so bored I managed to sneak a picture in of myself. I think my facial expression perfectly describes how I was feeling that day. Maybe a little bit of an attitude? Happiness for the holidays? Resentment towards the fact I had been there since eight that morning? Who knows.

Between juggling spending time with friends whom I won’t see for awhile, spending time with my family, working, and oh yeah, eating and sleeping as well, it has been a rough past couple of days.

The good news that comes out of this job though is that I have been reading. While the “Tipping Point”, isn’t the most exciting book I have ever read, it keeps me busy and has slowly but surely been enlightening me on the power of communication. I have also been able to catch up on my newspaper reading; I like to read them no matter how old the issue is so I can critique other writings including my own.

Another plus side would definitely have to be having access to the Internet for the full eight hours that I am here. While I can’t necessarily check my Facebook and Twitter I have been able to do a little online shopping which is funnily ironic seeing how I am in a mall, but Urban Outfitters is nowhere near here so I guess that’s a good excuse to use. I even got a really cute shirt there on line which is anticipating my arrival back to school!

Last but definitely not least, is the unlimited access to the food court! That’s probably the last place I should be only because the food there isn’t so healthy but hey, you only live once right? And besides who could resist this……?

While this hasn’t been the most exciting job for me, I have enjoyed the little bit of time I’ve spent here. The women I work with are DOLLS and I absolutely adore them, and besides I’ve made some great connections.

boys...boys...boys. they're dumb.

So before I begin my latest entry, I just want to go ahead and say that I suck at this whole "relationship" "boyfriend" thing. It's quite possible that I was born with some kind of birth defect that prevents me from truly having a real relationship. The cause of my defects will more than likely forever be a mystery.

On another note, I decided to write this due to sudden inspiration through a text message. I've known this person for quite some time now and we've shared our moments of ups and downs. Well truth is he drives me crazy. Whether that's due to my deep attraction to him, or maybe it's simply the fact that we don't have compatible zodiac signs. What crap.

After recieving a somewhat confusing text I sat and pondered about my life. I have been single for pretty much forever, at least since I was fifteen, which unfortunately had a few problems preventing us from "truly coming out" about our relationship with one another. (that deserves it's own seperate posting) Anyways, even though I'm not a big fan of pessimism I am on the verge of officially deciding to never be in a relationship; well, at least until I graduate from my university.

The whole process is pure insanity. The constant game of cat and mouse; flirting; dating; concerned about each other's feelings; it's a never-ending process that can only be summed up in one word: exhausting. So while I can appreciate the male species, maybe it's just best that I put them away in a little box until I'm 100% ready about putting up with one.

Almost Forgot!

So as the roomies and I headed to the oh-so-wonderful Fresh Foods to eat lunch, we ran across this cute little guy!

He was a cute little thing...the little caterpillar looked just like a pipe cleaner. You know, those fun little things you use in elementary school to do art and crafts? Well anyways...enjoy my little bit of nature!!

It got me thinking...

It's rather quite typical of me. I check all of my accounts before starting on my schoolwork, which by the way I have a thousand. I came across something rather interesting from someone I follow here on blogspot.

He opens up about never really having a "true best friend", someone that he can confide in 100% of the time. Due to the fact that I know the author of this blog quite well it made me a little sad to read some of the things he had to say. Don't get me wrong, the last thing he wants is sympathy or pity; he is far from THAT type of individual, it's just the simple fact that there is so much more to people than I think we all realize.

The upbeat, happy all the time person could have more problems than you think. The quiet "stuck-up" girl could easily be going through things at home, or with friends. We ALL continuously judge people initially upon meeting them and my question is simple, "Is this right?" As I stand on my soapbox let me be the first to stay that I am unfortunately guilty of this as well; I guess I can use the poor excuse of, it's in our nature.

While this blog doesn't technically have a point, or a life-learned lesson, it definitely got me thinking about the people around me. Maybe after this quick realization I will be a little more conscience of what I say about and around others.

All in all I just want my fellow blog friend to realize that while I may not be able to fill the void of "best friend" and while I may not be the TOP choice for a really good friend I hope he realizes that I am always here, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of what people say. Love you kid.

"A friend is someone understands your past, believes in your futures, and accepts you just the way you are."

xoxo

Procrasination?? Possibly...

So as I sit here contemplating my next move I sat and got to thinking about how freakin cold it is outside. I unfortunately had a Geology final at 8:00 this morning (which by the way my teacher has been around since Jesus walked the earth; but that's another blog post for another time) and as I was holding my coffee I'm pretty sure my hand was about to fall off from frostbite and crawl back to my dorm. I guess I can picture it like that hand from the Adam's family. Well anyways...I was thinking of a better outfit I could have possibly worn; I could have easily been cute and warm instead of looking like a hobo college student walking to Smith Hall at the crack of dawn.

I decided to overhaul some products and put together what I think is a cute little outfit. All the items are from Forever21; I decided to keep it simple and take things all from the same place.

This cute shirt is simple, and pretty much like the 'little black dress' of shirts. Every girl should have a basic tee they can throw on with anything. Basic knit tee $4.50

I think this is the cutest cardi everrrrrr! I love the color red, but never find myself wearing it as much as I would like. Boyfriend Knit Cardigan $19.80

Cargo pants...I absolutely adore these. I like the color changeup with this outfit since the red cardigan is so loud. Cargos $24.80

So these shoes might not be the best choice for this outfit but I want them so bad and I thought I would share with the blogspot world :) (awesome christmas gift, i wear a 9) Studded Booties $34.80

Simple drop necklace $5.80

Black and clear stud earrings $4.80

Hope you all enjoy the little ensemble...try and stay warm out there!

A romantic meeting with a wonderful idea...

                As the brunt of final week began to hit me, my roommates and I decided we needed to fill a void in our lives. Perhaps it is the fact that we really think our lives are that interesting or maybe it is the simple fact that we really have nothing better to do with our lives. I guess we’ll never know. The point is the three amigas have decided to start documenting our lives. Blogging & YouTube.

                While I am not a stranger to the blogging world seeing how I have an account with Wordpress and Tumblr both used for completely separate parts of my personality, we decided to make BlogSpot our home and begin our journey here J  

                Prepare for interesting and quirky little stories about our lives. And let me go ahead and put a disclaimer on all future blog posts from me the psychos I live with; we’re not the average girls. Until next time my BlogSpot readers I look forward to the future!

 xoxo

-SS